Chirotechnics

Sunday, October 31, 2004

Here's a picture of the Halloween party

Sorry everyone. I don't know what's up with my camera and the strange lights across my face. At least you can get a good look at Zelda. We both had ankle length trenchcoats. I believe friends at the party took more pictures of us. I'll post those as soon as I get those pics. One thing I really should've done was have Zelda take off her trenchcoat. She was wearing a strapless corset underneath. I think she looks hot! In case you're wondering, yes those are Halloween contact lenses.




Saturday, October 30, 2004

In the Spirit of Halloween

Because it's Halloween and Trashman's story gave me an idea, let me tell you all about a few incidences that actually happened when I was growing up.

When my family first came over to this country, we settled in Texarkana. It was my grandparents, 5 sets of aunts and uncles, my parents, sisters, and cousins. As a family, we had to come together and work various jobs and all pitched in to purchase a house. For some unknown reason, the house we bought was selling for an extremely low price. My cousins and I still call it "The Green House". So, we all moved in. That's when strange things started to happen.

My parents tell me (because I was too young to remember this detail) that I used to point to the ceiling and say the Vietnamese word for ghost. Everyone would look up and see nothing.

My uncle told me that one night, everyone went out except for him because he was so tired. He fell asleep on the couch. He constantly felt someone nudging him, but he was too tired to wake up so he would just say, "Stop it!" and push their arm away. When everyone came home, he eventually woke up and asked who was trying to wake him up. Everyone looked at him a little perplexed and told him that he was home by himself.

My cousin, Corey, heard a voice that sounded like my grandfather calling him from upstairs. He went upstairs and walked into the room. It was empty. The window was open and a voice called to him from what seemed like outside. He walked over to the window. When he looked outside, everything was blood red. All of a sudden, the wind kicked up and the drapes kicked up as if they were trying to push him out the window. He quickly ran downstairs and out of the house.

Eventually, tensions rose between my mother and her in-laws. It got bad enough that my family moved out. The rest of the extended family stayed. We would still visit occasionally. They were, afterall, family.

My cousin had gotten a Godzilla toy for his Birthday. It was great. It had a spring loaded lever in the back of the head that when pulled down, a plastic tongue would come out. When you let go of the lever, the spring would pull the tongue back in. I remember we played with that toy for hours. At the end of the birthday party, we said our goodbyes and piled into the car. My mother realized that she had forgotten her purse. She told my sisters and I to stay in the car while she ran in to get it. I remember leaning out the window admiring Corey's new Godzilla toy. Then it happened. The head turned and looked directly at me. Then, the tongue came out.

When my extended family finally moved out of "The Green House", the neighbors came over to wish us well and told us about the previous owners. Some guy shot and killed his wife in the basement before shooting himself in the head. In case you're wondering, yes these are true stories. Happy Halloween everyone.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

The Pain

Back in high school, I played basketball for the school team. That's when I had developed Osgood Schlatter's Disease. It's actually quite common. It happens to kids who are extremely active. The tendon of the knee pulls on the Tibia (knee bone). It especially flares up during growth spurts. Both of my knees felt as though they were smashed with hammers even to the slightest touch. The pain was constant. I could feel my heart beat in my knees. I was always tired because the pain would wake me up every night.

My mom brought home a massager one day from the physical therapist. It was one of those heavy duty flat ones that look like a small floor buffer. Anyways, one evening, I decided to give it a shot. After I iced my knees, I balanced the massager on them. All it did was vibrate the musculature and tendons to ease them up a little. I was in heaven. For the first time, I didn't feel that horrific pulse in my knees. The pain started to subside a little. I thought to myself. Yes, I can finally get some sleep. So, I closed my eyes and let my consciousness slip away.

I was having sex with the most amazingly beautiful woman I had ever seen. I didn't know anyone who remotely looked like this woman, but I can still remember her face, her killer body, and her seductive voice as she was moaning and begging me do it harder and harder. Just to tease her, I would slow down until she was virtually sinking her fingernails into my back to control what she wanted. I finally exploded like Mt. Vesuvius on speed. It was so intense and wouldn't stop . When I woke up, I noticed that the massager had migrated from my knees into my lap....still vibrating.

Ooops....no wonder.

Friday, October 22, 2004

Let's Pick a Fight!

Okay folks, my first week of midterms is over. The multiple "all nighters" have worn down my body and I am now sick. But you know what? I don't care! It's one week I don't have to worry about anymore. So, I've been killing the various bugs that are invading my body with lots of rum. Yep, it's a celebration. Oh, and I passed part II of the National Board exams. I wasn't supposed to take it yet, but because of my GPA, I and a few of my friends were allowed to take it early.

So, now that I'm a "little" buzzed, I'm going to tell you all how I feel about Mr. John Kerry and why I hate him. Time to light some fires baby!

Warning: The following will most likely offend liberals. My purpose is actually to make you think...you know what you call ARTISTIC...,but if you are still offended, I don't give a shit.

I find it funny how the liberals of this country are talking about voting for anyone but Bush. You see, I have the same argument...except I say anyone but Kerry. Let's just start with war. Some of the peace activists out there have no comprehension of reality. War is sometimes a necessity. Don't believe me? Ask the survivors of the holocaust. Hell, ask my family who were tortured and murdered when the United States pulled out of Vietnam. Not everyone was able to leave. Even though most of the major battles were won, the US pulled out. Why? Because of social and political pressure. That's right. The "peace" movement thought they were doing us all one big favor. Those racists (yes I said racists!) didn't think we were human enough to help. We were being supplied by the US while the North was being supplied by the Soviets and the Chinese.

So there you have it. Who I blame for my family's torture and murder. The "peace" activists...hippies and all. Fuck all of your pseudo-intellectual "peace" bilge. The tripe that you spill only reveals you as what the rest of the world views those of this great country. Spoiled American Brats. You're the reason the rest of the world hates us. You know why they support you now? It's so that when you're in power, and kill our defenses, they can take over, and run your sorry ass into a reeducation camp. And, to think that you believe that you have it so bad under this president. You don't have a clue.

That's what brings me down to Mr. John Kerry. His post Vietnam actions contributed to America's lack of will to continue to support us and to assist us in fighting for our country. Hence, came the US pullout. So, yes...it's rather personal to my family and me. "But Jethro, that was over 30 years ago!" Oh yeah, sure..."Hey kid, my actions contributed to the torture and death of your uncles, aunts, and cousins, but hey that was 30 years ago."
Nice try!

"Oh, but Jethro, at least he's an intellectual and can speak properly unlike this president." WHAT THE FUCK DO I CARE IF HE CAN SPEAK BETTER! What the fuck does that have to do with defending the country? His voting record PROVES that he can't defend it! France and Germany already said that no matter what happens with the elections, they're not going to help. What's your fucking plan now Kerry? That's the alliance you were talking about. They're not going to help us...much less you!

"Jethro, how can you be conservative if you're a minority?" I'll tell you why. It's because conservatives have minorities' best interest at heart. Nowadays, being a conservative means that you are responsible for YOURSELF! This means that you work hard and smart to go where you WANT to. You don't go where you want to because you're black, hispanic, asian, etc. You get there because you worked for it! You see people, you don't GET shit, you EARN shit.

These are just a few things that some on the far left have not even considered. My family lost one country thanks to the actions of people like John Kerry and Jane Fonda...We don't want to lose this one too.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Seeker's troubles

Since I'm taking midterms, I'm going to make this post short.

I went to Seeker's site and saw his counter displaying 414 days since his last copulation. Poor guy, no wonder he posted a picture of my wife. He's cool, he can look. Hell, I do! So, I ask all of you, all you horny poets out there, what was your longest dry spell?

Mine was 3 fucking years and I had a girlfriend. She had rediscovered her long, long, long, oh yeah, did I mention looooooooooooong lost virginity. Glad that crazy bitch is gone.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Backfired!

My friend Benton and I were taking one of our friends, Jennifer, out for her birthday to our local collegiate watering hole. It wasn't too crowded this night we went. We played pool, threw some darts, and drank lots of beer. Jennifer got up and ordered some more drinks at the bar. Some old gay guy asked her about Benton and me. He asked if we were gay.

She said, "Oh No sir. You don't see those girls they're with?"
He said, "I was just hoping...they're so hot."

When Jennifer got back to the pool table, she was laughing and told us about what just happened. Every time either me or Benton had to walk past this guy to pee, he would make crude remarks loud enough for us to hear. So, eventually, we decided to fuck with him (no not literally...you sick people).

We walked over to him and said, "Excuse me, but every time one of us walks past you, you make these really crude remarks loud enough for us and everyone to hear. We don't really appreciate that especially since..." we threw our hands over each other's shoulder and finished with, "...we're together."
He then leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "Can I be the meat in your sandwich?"
DAMN! Backfired! Fuck that was gross!

Friday, October 15, 2004

My FIRST and ONLY Tae Kwon Do tournament

I've always been an active sports person. Back in high school, I played basketball for the school. One day, my cousin said that he would train me in various styles of Kung Fu. Let me just say that that was the worst ass kicking I've ever been through. I did learn quite a bit from him. We worked quite a bit of upper body strikes and joint locks. I'll never forget when he took my mother's solid oak broom and told me to block as he wailed me with it. His belief is that it hurts now, but sooner or later, it won't hurt as bad...So, fucking take it!

When college rolled around, I still played basketball for fun. But then came the day when I started taking Tae Kwon Do. It became clear that the techniques that I learned in Kung Fu were quite different from what they were teaching. When we fought against each other, those who have only taken Tae Kwon Do were only effective with their legs...not their upper body. My instructor convinced me that this may work to my favor if I competed in a tournament. So, I agreed to fight...but only once.

My division was the last to fight. I watched each of my opponents preferences as to how they fought. I remember this one guy who ALWAYS jumped right at his opponent with a jump kick to the head for 3 points ( the most points you can get in any one face off) right when the judge signaled for the fight to begin. After I eliminated 8 opponents, I made it to the semi-finals. It was me against him. I knew what to expect. So, when the judge signaled for the fight to begin, he did exactly what I expected him to, he jumped right at me.

Since I knew what to expect, I jumped to the side and stuck my foot out. I caught him right in the head. 3 points for me! Poor guy...after that, he was a little dizzy. So, 2 straight points and it was all over. I had made it to the finals! The last match I fought was against a huge 6'5" dude from hell. I'm only 5'11".

I scored 2 straight points on him with direct punches to the body. That's when I saw something different. He looked determined. The third time we squared off, he dove straight for me with a kick to my head. He wanted those 3 points to pass me up. I blocked his kick, got in real close, and threw a punch right to his mid-section. YES! Another point for me! WRONG! According to the judges, all he had to do was get within a foot of my head in order to get the points....BULLSHIT! I saw what he was going to do and took him out! But, that's okay....I'll get him. I was furious....The next time we faced off, the instant the judge dropped his hand to signal the fight to begin, I dove right into him and landed a perfect punch right to his chest. I felt somewhat bad because it knocked him over. Immediately, I reached for his hand to pull him up and apologized. But, he knew....he just said, "Good one. Good one." I asked him if he was alright. He said, "Oh yeah, you just completely caught me off gaurd...good one." We waited for the judges decision. It came: 3 strikes against Red (me) for excessive use of force. I was DISQUALIFIED in the final match. Championship to him....second place for me. Sucked? Not really. Wanna know why? It's because regardless of what the judges thought, I had a shitload of FUN that day.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Speako Englisho?

Funny thing happened the other day. I'm trying to eat healthy foods like grilled salmon, salads, etc. Every once in awhile, I'll relapse and eat burgers, pizza, buffalo wings, fried chicken. I love fried chicken. When my mother first came to this country, she couldn't stand hamburgers, but she loved fried chicken.

I was in a KFC and I noticed an older Asian gentleman in another line. He approached the guy who was taking orders and had a confused look about him. The guy asked, "Can I help you sir?" This tiny man who obviously just came over to this country started flapping his arms up and down like a bird.

This confused the poor guy who was taking orders, and he asked with a little more aggression, "What do you want, man?" I felt so bad that I had to jump in. I knew this gentleman probably couldn't speak any English. I asked him if he was Vietnamese because Houston has a huge Asian community and I wanted to make sure he would understand me. He turned to me like I was his savior and said, "Oh my God, yes! Could you help me?" I asked him what he wanted. He said, "I was hungry and wanted some chicken but I only wanted wings." When I translated to the guy taking orders what the old man wanted, you could see him chuckle. I couldn't blame him. Imagine the sight of a little old Vietnamese guy flapping his arms up and down like a chicken because he wanted to order just wings.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Welcome to Texas

About a few months ago, I remember hearing on the radio certain people's preconceived notions of what they thought Texas was like before they actually got here and what they thought when they were here. I heard so many funny stories. A few included:

1) In Houston, there was a music radio station where the call letters were KIKK. One black lady called in to tell everyone that when her family moved down here and saw a bumper sticker with those call letters, they missed the I in KIKK. They were so scared because they thought that people were brave enough down here to advertise that they were in the KKK.

2) A husband and wife were driving down here during Rodeo season. During that season, people from all over like to ride to the rodeo on horses, wagons, etc. The wife was driving and decided to turn around and go back home because she was not going to live that kind of life. She didn't want livestock. (Who wouldn't?!)

3) I had a friend who was asked if people actually rode to school on horses every morning. (Of course we do! Don't you watch TV?)

Some of these stories actually made me start to think. What do people from the rest of the nation think of the South? I don't really care what anybody else thinks, but I started to wonder why people have such a prejudicial opinion of Southerners. If you speak slowly, you must think slowly. If you speak with a southern twang or jumble your words together, you're unintelligent. I can tell you from personal experience that nothing could be further from the truth.

I noticed quite a bit of difference when I traveled to New York. Up there, you don't speak to anybody on the street. Down south, if you so much as make eye contact with complete strangers, you say "hi" or "hello" or "howdy" or at least crack a smile to acknowledge their presence. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of nice people up north. When I got caught trying to haul a stroller up a flight of stairs while carrying 2 car seats and one of my daughters, some lady offered to help.

Even the food was different. I know that people around the world talk about the fine dining in New York City. It was okay, but it really didn't compare to Houston's restaurants. We were ranked the fattest city in the world based only on the fact that we have more restaurants per square mile than any other city. However, with so many restaurants, you'd better be good or go out of business. As for the service in the New York restaurants, I could only say that it was average, even to the restaurants that the locals were recommending.

These were just some of the things that I noticed and just my opinion as well. Do any of you have recommendations for the next time I'm up there? Or, do you have a funny story about what people think about the South?

Thursday, October 07, 2004

A new name

For years now, I've been contemplating changing my name. When I became a citizen back in 1994, someone asked me if I wanted to change my name like many immigrants do. At the time, I thought....why? Everyone already knows me by my real name. So, why would I change it?

Well, I've given it alot of thought since then. I asked myself...why not? So, I ask all of you....other than Jethro, what name should I consider? Less than 10% of the population has ever pronounced my birth name correctly on the first shot. So, THEORETICALLY (and just for the fun of it), If I were to ever change my name, what names should I consider?

Prozac

I am contemplating posting this....I wasn't going to, but since it's just my own analysis...let me just start with a disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I am not advocating to anybody the use of this product. Discuss with a doctor first.
Or, you can come see me at my school while an attending clinician is present.

I was blog surfing the other day and came across a girl who tried to kill herself. It was so sad to see someone going through so much that she thought the only way out was to end her life. Anyways, I started thinking about how they're researching the connection between Prozac and suicide. I'm interested to hear the results of that research. I then started to think about my pharmacology class. My professor is a pharmacist and a chiropractor. He mentioned how in the past, doctors used to prescribe serotonin for patients with depression and it was far superior.

Let me insert a second disclaimer to re-emphasize here that I am NOT recommending anyone go out and purchase a bottle of 5HTP. Consult with your doctor first.

Serotonin is one of the body's own neurotransmitter. Once released, it can be absorbed rather quickly. That's why certain drugs (serotonin reuptake inhibitors) are prescribed for various psychiatric problems like depression. Their purpose is to inhibit the "reabsorption" of serotonin. Serotonin helps modulate brain activity. Since he couldn't prescribe controlled medications, he recommended to one of his patients 5HTP (5-hydroxytryptamine). This can be purchased Over The Counter. The mechansims goes that 5HTP is converted to tryptophan (the stuff that makes you sleepy after eating turkey), so it's also great for insomnia. Tryptophan is converted to serotonin. After some time, brain activity is regulated. Neurological symptoms like depression is improved. Of course like most other psychiatric meds, it takes time to take affect. Some say it takes about 8 weeks.

There is another obstacle. Unfortunately, unlike controlled medications in this country, vitamins, herbals, etc. are not regulated by the FDA. Let me give you an example. Saw Palmetto has benefits as long as you use the berries. Some companies take the twigs, leaves, etc. grind it up and call it Saw Palmetto. Technically, it's true...but, the only person it's going to help is the company that managed to get the "trash" from legitimate companies that know how to correctly isolate the beneficial properties of Saw Palmetto. So, be careful with what you purchase.

They stopped the the flow of artificial serotonin in this country because a while back, some contaminated serotonin from Japan arrived and created lots of problems. Even though investigations revealed that it was a contaminated source, the damage was done. We can't get serotonin here. I'm curious to know how MD's would feel about this from a physiological stand point. Afterall, I'm just an intern. (So, Please don't take this as medical advice).

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Why the hell did I have to wake up this morning?

Monday, at about 4:30 pm central standard time, a bolt of lightning hit the main transformer at my school. Classes were then cancelled for the rest of the day. I got a phone call from a friend of mine who told me to keep an eye on the blackboard system to see if we're going to have classes the next day or not. Chances are, we weren't. Wooohooo! A break! Well, at about 11:00 last night, I checked the blackboard system and it said classes would resume as normal. They were going to use an industrial generator to provide power to all the buildings. Fuck! I had already made myself a few drinks in celebration. Oh well, just go to sleep and wake up early.

Alarm goes off, snooze button...alarm goes off again...snoooze again. Alarm goes off for the last time. I get up and check the internet. Blackboard system says classes resume as normal. Aw Fuck! Alright...I take a shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, wake up Gwendolyn to get ready for school and check the Blackboard system again. "Classes will resume as normal". Oh well, just thought I'd get lucky. So, I start my 50 minute commute to school. 8 minutes after I pull out of my driveway, I get a call from another friend of mine. "Hey, where are you?" I said, "Almost to the freeway."
"Turn around and go have breakfast. Classes don't start until 10 o'clock." I had just checked the blackboard system. Well, aparently they were a few minutes too late and found an old transformer with a leaky fuse. They were waiting on the power company to come and replace the fuse. Oh well, I wasn't too far from home. So, I turned around and headed back.

At 9:00, I called the school. "Are you guys still starting at 10:00?"
"Yep."
At 9:10, "Are you guys still starting at 10:00?"
"As of right now, yes. "
"Do you have power at the school?"
"We do at the administration building...I don't know about the classes."
"I don't want to have to drive an hour and pay for toll charges if I don't have to."
"I understand. But as far as Dr. Haslund (the dean) says, everything is still on for 10:00"
"okay"

I left and made it to campus with 10 minutes to spare. People were standing outside. The lights to the main building were still off.
I asked, "What's going on?"
"Power is still off. We're waiting for the power company to come and install the new fuse to the new transformer. They promised to be here an hour ago."
"Aw shit...I knew it!"

At 10:00, Dr. Haslund speaks to the crowd, "We're going to be here for another 2 hours. Classes should resume at 12:00."
"Why don't you just call off classes?"
"We can't"

Fine. We all were hanging out by the cars and listening to CDs waiting for the power to come back on when....BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

I said to my friends, " Oh shit! I bet that was the second transformer."

Dr. Haslund walks over to the parking lot..."Classes are cancelled for today."
My friend, Nelson, said "Well, I'm going to go have me a beer lunch."

Here's Everyone!

Alright everyone, here's what we promised:

Here's a pic I caught of Zelda getting ready for a Saturday night out.



Here's a pic that Zelda caught of me a little offguard. Right now, it's the only digital pic that I have of myself:



Here's a closeup of Gwendolyn when she was 3 years old at Epcot.



Here's a closeup of Emma at 3 years old.


Sunday, October 03, 2004

Brief Break

Hi Everyone,
I need to take some time to do some catch up studying. When I take breaks, I'll visit some of your new entries and will comment IF I can. Oh, and I haven't forgotten that Zelda promised to post pictures of ourselves. I'll do that soon too.