Wednesday, April 23, 2008

God, this cracked me up

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Happy Ending

This post is for Christina the massage therapist. After my very first car accident about 20 years ago, I was recommended to have some kind of muscle work done. I called up a massage parlor to have my neck and low back done.

me: "Hi, I've never had a massage done before. But, it was recommended to me that I get one done. What should I expect?"

them: "It's 60 dollars an hour for a professional NON SEXUAL massage." (extra empasis by them)

me: "huh?"

them: "This is a professional service, sir. There is no sex involved."

me: ".....uuuuuuhhhhhhh.....I was involved in a car accident. The doctor told me I should get a massage for my muscles that ache."

them: "Oooohhhhhh. Well, then let me put our injury specialist on the line."

me: "NON SEXUAL specialist, right?"

them: (giggling) "Of course."

Friday, April 04, 2008

I'm a doctor, not a lover...except to my wife. Then, I'm both.

Usually when I get hit on by patients at work, it's never direct. Most of the time, the patients will just make a nice compliment with a litte bit of "it's a shame you're married" ending. Those things I can handle. I did have one patient who asked me if she needed to remove her shirt even though her problem was in her knee. My response? "No, we'll just focus on your knee." That was probably the closest to being direct until a few days ago.

Patient: "Doctor, can I ask you a question?"

Me: "Sure."

Pt: "Are you interested in me? Because, I'm interested in you. I get the feeling you're interested in me because you treat me differently from your other patients."

Me: ".........(eyes wide).......uuuuuuuhhhhhhh. Look, I can't pursue anything with you because of 3 reasons.
1) I'm married.
2) I take that marriage very seriously.
3) You're my patient. It is illegal for me to have any kind of relationship with my patients."

What kind of gets me is that she thought I treated her differently from my other patients. I'm not sure where she gets this idea. I do sit and talk with my patients regarding not only their ailments but about their daily lives as well. It makes time go by faster throughout their therapy. Plus, I find their lives interesting. Zelda and I have gone to plays with our patients. We've gone to have sushi, sake, and fine wines with another of our patients. We've been invited to hockey games. We got free tickets to Sea World. It's just that since we've moved to New City, we don't have as many friends as we did in Houston.

Hopefully, I handled that situation properly.