Thursday, May 12, 2005

Father-Daughter connection

I remember when Zelda was pregnant with our eldest daughter, she was wondering how she would feel about our child. She was worried because she thought that she would not feel any differences between Gwendolyn and the rest of her sisters. I assured her that once Gwendolyn was born, she will know. She tells me to this day that I was right about that.

However, it was different for me. I can't quite explain it, but it took some time for me. I mean, I loved Gwendolyn from the start. But, I didn't have the same connection that Zelda had. I don't know if it was the same for all of the other fathers out there. It didn't take long, but this made Zelda a little nervous. She was constantly under the impression that I was going to leave her and Gwendolyn because I just wasn't ready for fatherhood. Let's face it, when are any of us really ready for parenthood? However, I never felt the desire to leave. Still, it bothered her. I didn't know how to convince her otherwise.

One morning, while I was still asleep, Zelda put Gwendolyn on my chest. At first I squirmed and gave her the typical "What the hell are you waking me up for" groan. Then, when I opened my eyes, I saw the biggest, toothless smile on little Gwendolyn's face staring right at me. My groaning stopped and I smiled right back at her. That was the exact moment when Zelda was finally convinced that little Gwendolyn and I had made the connection.