Thursday, January 20, 2005

Kill the Wabbit!

My buddy, Corin, got back from boot camp last week. Zelda and I took him out for a few beers. He told us a great story back from a previous training session. I think he said this was ROTC.

He and his "squad" had to endure a week of survival on their own in the wilderness. They were given a few MREs for emergency use (If you ate the MRE, you failed). Corin was quite gung ho about the military. He took to this challenge with much enthusiasm in the beginning. On the first day, he climbed a tree and constructed a snare to catch birds. Unfortunately, it was in the middle of the winter and all of the birds had already flown south for the winter. So, 2 days have already passed without anyone in his squad eating. If you don't like to hear hunting stories, you might want to skip the next paragraph. You are warned.

Corin eventually found rabbit tracks. He followed the tracks into what lead to a hole in the ground. There were a few leaves covering the entrance. He took out his shovel to dig a trap. As he cleared a few leaves that partially covered the hole, he realized that the rabbit was sitting right there. Corin saw that the rabbit was about to take off out of the hole. So, he did the only thing he could. It was too late to reach for his knife. Since he was holding the shovel, he hit the rabbit on the head with the blunt end of the shovel. The rabbit was stunned. It looked right at him with a "What the fuck did you just do?!" look. Then, it jumped right out of the hole. Corin had to jump right on top of it to grab it with one hand while repeatedly smashing it on the head with the shovel. Keep in mind, this guy and his squad hasn't eaten in 3 days. So, after much wrestling and smashing, Corin finally got his meal. He walked back to the squad, threw the rabbit on the ground and said, "Here, I caught it, you guys clean it and cook it." He sat down and took a short nap. He was awakened by the sound of 2 other guys from his squad. These 2 had wandered off and found a chicken farm. They managed to steal 2 chickens. Corin was pissed. He just had to fight long and hard for his meal, while 2 of his guys stumbled onto a chicken farm. The 2 guys asked, "What do we do now?" Hearing these words, Corin pulled out his field knife and stabbed both chickens. "There! Now they won't bother you while you pull out their feathers, and cook 'em!"

Again, he sat down to take a nap. A few minutes later, he heard shouting that woke him up again. "Get it! Don't let it get away!" As he opened his eyes, he could see that the chickens had come back to life and was running away from the guys who were trying to remove their feathers. Getting really pissed, he reached for his M-16. Then, thought...."Wait, if I shoot the chicken with this, there won't be alot of meat left." Just then, one of them fell right on top of one of the chickens and the other one ended up getting caught.

After that, he stayed awake until everything, rabbit and chicken, was roasting over the fire.