Monday, January 03, 2005

The first time I saw Zelda Nekkid

Before Zelda and I were an item, we were friends. I used to live in the dorms of a small Catholic university in downtown Houston. Yeah, I know. Why is a Buddhist going to a Catholic university? Because they offered me a full tuition scholarship. I wouldn't have to pay a dime for an undergraduate degree unless I chose to live on campus, which I ended up doing.

I met Zelda through an ex-girlfriend. They were best friends. The dorms close over winter breaks. So, everyone had to leave. My parents lived in a small town Northeast of Houston. My ex lived in the Southwest part of Houston. Over the winter break, I came down with a mild case of the flu. My ex drove out to see me and brought Zelda with her. When the door bell rang, I climbed out of my bed and opened the door. I looked at Zelda and thought to myself that she was really cute. We were introduced. Zelda and I hit it off immediately. We became very close friends. Zelda used to say to me that if I ever cheated on her best friend, she would castrate me. I never did....eventhough I had many opportunities especially when my ex and I were having problems.

Anyways, my roommate and I were having a party in our dorm room once. I've been to other dorms on other universities. Our dorms were much bigger and nicer than any of the others I have seen. Each room had its own bathroom, complete with bathtub, toilet, sink. We didn't have to share with anyone else except our roommate. Zelda was at most of our parties. Her family life was a little on the rocks, so she could usually be found hanging around. She was struggling a little so I would help her out whenever I could. Zelda showed up to the party and started drinking. She told us how the only thing she had eaten all day was corn. I asked her if she wanted anything to eat. She said no because her allergies were acting up and she had taken a Benadryl earlier. She was just waiting for it to kick in. After a few drinks, Zelda got drunk. She excused herself to my bathroom. Then, we heard the water to the bathtub get turned on. We figured, she just had to go vomit a little and probably got some on her clothes. She probably had to rinse some of it. Every few minutes, we would knock on the door to make sure she was okay. As long as we could hear something along the lines of a moan, we knew she was fine. After about half an hour, we decided that maybe we really should check on her. One last time my ex knocked on the door.

"Zelda, you okay in there?"


"Oh shit! She's not saying anything, the tub is on, and the door is locked!"

The lock on the door to the bathroom is easily unlocked with a screwdriver. It takes half a second. So, I unlocked the door and opened it.

There was Zelda in my tub fully clothed, drenched with water and corn chunks. She didn't plug the drain with the stopper so the water level never rose very high.

"Eeeeewwww! Is that corn?"

"That's what she said she ate earlier."

My ex turned to me and said, "Okay, I'm going to need some help to clean her up. The only guy she'll probably feel comfortable with seeing her naked is you, Jethro. Can you hold her up in the shower while I bathe her?"

"Sure." Now that I look back on it, I was about to have one of my wildest wet dreams come true. Here I am between 2 girls. One is about to scrub the other one down with soap. However, with the stench of vomit everywhere, it wasn't quite fantasy material. So, I went to grab some of my clothes for Zelda to borrow while my ex undressed Zelda. When I came back, Zelda was already undressed and my ex was shampooing her hair. After her hair was rinsed, I stepped into the tub and picked up Zelda. I held her up while we turned on the shower and soaped her up. Was it evil of me to actually enjoy it?

We dried her off, put her in my clothes and placed her in my bed. She woke up with a huge hangover. We told her what had happened the night before. She asked me if everything she heard was true. I looked at her and smiled.

Then, I pulled a single kernel of corn out of her hair and said, "Ooops. Missed one."