Sunday, October 02, 2005

Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Program

OK, enough of the Hurricane Rita shit. Time to get back to life and move along.

Before I turned 21, we used to sneak alcoholic beverages into our dorm rooms for our parties. Occasionally, it would get loud and we would have to tell everyone to quiet down. You see, if the RA's walked by and thought there was a party in your room, they would come in and confiscate any alcohol they found. What we didn't realize at the time was that we could've denied them access to our rooms.

One night, we had the plan to hide all bottles when the RA's came into one of the party rooms. When we heard the knock at the front door, everyone hid their bottles and blocked the path for the RA's to check the assigned spots. Unfortunately, we missed a small bottle of Everclear. One of the RA's picked it up and asked, "Is this alcohol?" Carlos laughed so hard because everclear is only 95% ethanol. He didn't even try to lie. He laughed and told them that it was in fact alcohol.

Now, I understand that it is the RA's job to enforce the rules. However, this group in particular were a bunch of hypocrits. We remember one time when they confiscated a bottle of Southern Comfort from one of our friends and we found that same bottle in the RA's room because he was drinking it. He was also underage. When we discovered that they broke up parties to refill their own alcohol supply, one of our friends, Brent, decided to get even.

He took one of his empty bottles of Southern Comfort, poured in Isopropyl rubbing alcohol, water with cigarette ash, and a combination of coke and sprite to give it the perfect color. It was the only bottle he left out in the open.

For several weeks, we didn't have a single party broken up. My buddy, Corin, was having a really bad day. He broke up with his girlfriend, he got horrible grades on his tests, etc. Corin burst into Brent's room and screamed that he was really pissed off and needed a drink. Brent said, "Help yourself." Corin grabbed the tainted bottle of Southern Comfort and took a huge gulp. Brent turned around just to see the inverted bottle get turned right side up.

"Corin, did you just take a few gulps from that bottle?"


"Did you grab the one on top of the dresser?"


"Oh shit. (waves his hands in front of Corin) Can you still see me?"