Sunday, August 05, 2007

Bullshitting around the office

The office was a little slow the other day. While we were doing paperwork, I was talking to our front desk and our massage therapist. Her husband (we'll call him Cooter) was involved in some funny ass shit when he was younger.

We'll start the story with a kid named Jay. Jay was known to smell funny around school because he was hesitant to shower in front of other people. He would never shower after gym.

Jay, Cooter, and a few friends started drinking one night and Jay passed out drunk. Cooter and the rest of the guys decided that it would be funny as hell to tie Jay up butt naked to the front end of his Jeep and drive around town.

They stripped Jay up and tied him to the front of the Jeep and started driving up to the drive thru windows of numerous all night fast food facilities. In fact, they circled 3 particular fast food chains 4 times.

Obviously, it wasn't long until flashing lights were right behind them. Cooter pulled over.


"Hi, uncle Bob."

"Why is there a nekkid boy on the front of your Jeep? You know what? I don't want to know. You git yer ass home and I'm callin' yer momma."


It's easily 15 miles back home since they're in the middle of Arkansas. Apparently, on the way back, there were times where Jay would come out of his drunken coma and start screaming. They could keep driving. He would continue to relapse into his drunken coma. This apparently happened all the way home.

The next morning, Cooter's mom woke him up early in the morning.

"Son, I was just woke up a few minutes ago. Why is there a nekkid boy tied to the front of yer Jeep screamin' for someone to cut him loose?"

They had driven all the way home and were too drunk to untie their own friend.

On the brighter side of things, since the entire town had now seen Jay naked, he no longer felt embarrassed to shower in front of others.