Zelda takes on bullies

Saturday night, I took the family to a little Mexican restaurant right across the street from where we live. The girls insisted on taking their baby dolls with them into the restaurant. I didn't care...I was just going to have a nice meal, a few margaritas, and relax. We sat on the outside patio and practically had the whole place to ourselves. Towards the end of the evening, we bumped into our neighbors and started talking to them while the girls were running around with a few other boys who came out to the patio area to play. We heard our youngest let out a scream.

Zelda and I turned around to see Emma (our youngest) running towards Gwendolyn (her big sister) and her baby doll flying towards her. We then knew that one of the little boys grabbed Emma's baby doll. So, I ruffled my feathers and expanded my chest cavity like a ferocious gamecock preparing to protect the pen. That's when Zelda took over. She screamed at them, "Who took my daughter's doll?! Was it you?! What, are you a girl?! You like playing with dolls?! I bet you're a girl!" I turned around to my neighbors and laughed my ass off. I couldn't beat that! That was perfect! Not only did she scold them, she made them feel like complete assholes utilizing little boys' worst fears. We said good night to our neighbors and sat back down at the table. I drank the last of my margarita and stared at her with a huge smile on my face thinking, "Yep, that's MY wife....MINE!"