Wednesday, November 03, 2004

My violent dreams

My last post was about dreams that I sometimes get. They're frequently very violent. I'm not sure where they come from. I'm generally not a violent person. I can remember with great detail some of the dreams that I have had.

In one dream, my family was being held hostage. I was in a tree when the perpetrators were walking past me. I waited until the last one walked by. Then, I jumped out of the tree with a combat knife in my hand going straight for the guy's skull. I whistled just in time for him to look up. I remember the knife going straight through the sockets of his eyes. I then grabbed his gun and fired on all of his buddies, killing all of them. I walked up to one guy who was still barely breathing asking me to kill him because he couldn't stand the pain. I told him to tell me where my family was. After he told me, I looked up at the sky and told him that the birds were going to eat him. Then I walked away.

In another dream, I remember I was walking and talking with one of my friends. Out of nowhere this guy throws a knife at me. I dodge it just in time. But, it caught my friend right in the head. I remember watching her lie on the ground. She was bleeding and shaking from convulsions. I pulled the knife out and what do I do? I don't ask her if she's okay. I run at this guy and knock him over. I put a lock on him with my legs so that he couldn't retaliate. Then, I took the knife and slowly drove it into his head. I can remember the feeling of his skull cracking as the knife broke the bone and penetrated his brain. Then, I twisted the knife just to make sure that I scrambled his brain.

In yet another dream, I was fighting with this other guy when he pulled a knife on me. This guy had attacked my little girl, Gwendolyn. I ran right at him, grabbed the fucking knife at the blade even though I knew it would hurt like hell and shoved the web of my other hand right at his throat. He went down. I pulled the knife out of my hand cut off both of his legs, arms, then finally genitals and stuck them in his mouth.

I don't know why I get these dreams. I've never been involved in any kind of a physical fight in my life except once. All of my violent dreams are retaliatory. It's always a case of revenge. Does anyone know what that means?