Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Wake up

Okay, enough depressing posts. When Zelda and I start to worry about things, we do what we always do to relieve our stress. We have wild, animal sex. I'm talking we're hanging off the ceiling fans like a bunch of monkeys over-stimulated from phermones.

When I woke up the next morning, it was about 65 degrees in the house. For those of you up north, that's pretty darn cold for someone of my tropical rainforest ass to wake up to. I unlocked the door, unlocked the deadbolt, moved the 35 pound dumbbell out of the way, pushed the dresser out of the way, and turned off the motion sensors to the girls' room. I had on my boxers when I pulled Gwendolyn from bed and walked her into the bathroom to get ready for school. I turned on the water to the bathtub and sat on the edge of the tub. Sweet mother of ice, sleet, and hail! A lightening bolt shot up my ass into my spine. Apparently, there was a huge rip in my underwear. Gwendolyn was still half asleep while she was in the tub so I went and changed into a new pair. Don't worry, I didn't even put in the plug to the drain yet.

I don't know how they were ripped so badly because I'm not wearing them while playing Tarzan. But, Zelda is taking full credit.