Friday, December 09, 2005

Alcohol impairs your intelligence

It's so cold outside! It's 27 degrees Houston! It reminded me of a time when my best bud Mason and I were roommates. It was freezing outside so we sat back, popped "Independence Day" into the VCR and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels. Before we started drinking, we do what we always do. We take the bullets out of our guns and put them away. This is just in case anyone else decides to come to our place to have a few drinks with us since we didn't have a gun safe. For those who don't know a lot about guns, the bullet is the most dangerous part. A gun cannot accidently go off if there are no bullets in the chamber because it's the bullet that contains the primer and gun powder. So, the gun itself is really just a big piece of metal, plastic, etc. I have to explain this so that nobody worries while reading what I'm about to tell you.

After polishing off the bottle of Jack Daniels, Mason decided to show me a few tricks with his gun. Bullets out of course. He put on a holster and started twirling the gun and slid it back in the holster like they do in the Western movies. I said to him, "I can do that!" So, I put on my holster, took my gun out (bullets out of course) and started twirling it. I don't know how Mason maintained his coordination because he drank about the same amount that I did. Anyways, the gun fell out of my hand and landed on his foot. Mason gave me a "Holy Shit! That hurt!" look. I asked him, "Did that really hurt?" He answered, "Uhhh, Yeeeaeaaaaahhhh." My stupid ass said, "Let me see." So with all my *cough* wisdom, I picked up my gun and smashed my toe with it. Yeah, it hurt. A lot.

We both then proceeded to crawl out to the front door, open it, and stuck our toes out on the cold concrete to keep the swelling down. Yep, it was just as cold that night.