OH HELL NO!

Since final exams have ended, I have taken a few days off to myself to pick up Gwendolyn from school for 3 days in a row. I went to the clinic to take care of patients in the early morning, but I left early enough to pick up Gwendolyn from school.

When her school ends for the day, Gwendolyn walks across the street into our neighborhood with other kids so that we don't have to wait in car line.

First day, she was walking with one of her friends named Nicholas. They were laughing and laughing and quoting Sponge Bob. When I saw her, she said that that was her friend Nicholas. I said, "Oh really? Is he in the first grade too?" She said, "Yeah." We went home.

Second day, she was walked across the street with the same little boy. Again, they were laughing and laughing. I saw his right hand make a gesture as if it was reaching for her left hand. I thought to myself, "Nah, just my overprotective dad's imagination getting the best of me."

Third day, they were walking across the street HOLDING HANDS. When little Nicholas saw me grind my teeth with my mouth wide open, he dropped her hand. Little Gwendolyn was laughing and laughing as though nothing was wrong.

My friends, it has started. I'm going to go shotgun shopping tonight and pick up more rounds for my handguns.

My first beer

When we first came to this country, my mother and her in-laws didn't get along. It didn't help that everyone lived under the same roof. Eventually, my family moved out on our own. My parents both worked long hours just to make ends meet.

My dad came home early one day and picked us up from a friend who would watch over my sisters and I while Mom and Dad worked. He popped open a beer, took a sip, and fell asleep on the couch while my sisters and I played. When dad woke up, he leaned over, picked up his beer, and noticed that it was empty. He shook it just to make sure. He remembered that he had only had a sip before falling asleep. Confused, Dad sat up, looked around, and noticed that I was passed out on the floor right next to the couch. I was only 2 years old. He told me that when he picked me up, I burped. He smelled where his beer had gone. I don't think he told my Mom about that one for a long time.

Test Results

Got the results of my 2 weeks in hell. The only class I have to worry about is Skeletal Imaging. That class basically covers fractures and arthritides. I had to retake that class. I didn't fail it the first time, but I didn't get a very good grade in it the first time around. What happened?

The class has 2 grades. The first time I took the class, I got an "A" on the midterm. So, the only thing I had left to worry about was the final exam. I had thought that the final exam was at 2:00 pm. It was actually at 11:00 am. So, needless to say, I had to take the class over again. Remember those nightmares that you'd have the night before a really big test? Yeah, I lived it.

This time around. I was prepared. The midterm in this class I thought was easy. That was until I actually saw my grade. It was a C. I couldn't believe it. I thought I had aced the test. Oh well, I needed to talk to the head of the radiology department. The problem was that everyone and their mother went to see him. I figured I'd wait until everyone else was done. By that time, it was the weekend before Final exams. I approached him, but he said he was leaving town and that we'd have to discuss it after the Final Exam.

This time, I made sure to be prepared for the final exam. I showed up early and got front row seats because that was the best spot for the practical portion. You had to read x-rays that were projected onto the screen. The pictures weren't too great either. I thought I had bombed the practical portion but aced the written portion. Together I was just hoping to pass the class. I checked my grades. 90% on the written portion. As I thought, I aced it. However, the practical portion required me to make a 50% in order to combine for a 70%. Then, I passed. I was worried. People discuss answers after exams and I kept thinking that I bombed the practical so badly that I missed the 50% required to pass. My grade? 92%! Hot Damn! Looks like I knew my shit afterall. The class average was 76% on the practical and 80% on the written.

That week, we also had exit exams. Basically, it tests your basic clinical competency. You must pass it before you graduate. Again, I thought I bombed it. I just found out this morning that I passed! Woo hoo!

It just comes to show you that you just got to trust your instincts sometimes an not worry about things too badly.

Ok. The Drunk Post

WARNING: Too much information and sexual content.

I wrote this last night but passed out before publishing it. I almost didn't post it, but I figured I owed it to y'all for my laziness over the past couple days.

Party for Gwendolyn is over. The continuation of my celebration continues. Woo Hoo! Had several glasses of wine tonight. Or, was it bottles? Not sure. Don't fucking remember and don't fucking care.

It was end of 1999. Zelda's family had a time share in Orland, Florida. Gwendolyn was only a few months old. We were invited for the Millenium celebration. My parents anxiously volunteered to watch Gwendolyn if we decided to leave. In fact, they practically pushed us out the front door while holding on to Gwendolyn. If they were that desperate to spend time with their granddaughter so that we could spend some time alone, I wasn't going to stop them.

I remember all the panic going on at that time. Disney World had set up several lights powered by generators just in case. We packed up everything we needed, including a breast pump. Without our little girl there, I knew Zelda would be in a lot of pain if the pressure wasn't relieved.

On the last night we were there, a seal to the breast pump broke. There was no suction power to the breast pump. It was 7:00 a.m. when Zelda woke me up because she was in quite sore. The pump wasn't doing its job. I asked her if she wanted me help her relieve it the natural way. She felt a little weird about it, but I convinced her that it was the only option we had left. So, I puckered up and did my duty.

It was weird when the taste first touched my tongue. At first it was *suck suck suck, spit*. Then, I noticed that it was in fact quite sweet. In fact, it was much sweeter than cow's milk. Not bad acutally. Pretty weird huh? That, my friends, is true love.

Sorry everyone

I meant to post while I was nice and buzzed. Y'all are going to have to settle for a hangover one. Zelda and I got into some obscure political argument. I passed out. It was great. Anyways, I've been partying for 2 days in a row. I'm throwing Gwendolyn a birthday party today so I'll party tonight and try again. Three days? Hey, I deserve it after the hell that is final exams.

Party Time!

Pop the champagne! Make some margaritas! Give me a shot of whiskey! Final exams are over! I'm back y'all. I had to get in a post about my little girl. So, a break was necessary. However, now I have a little bit more time. Gonna go party now. I'll be back to post as soon as I'm nice and buzzed. Who knows what will come out of my mouth when that happens.

A Fast Ride - Jethro's Version

First, go read Zelda's post. I'll fill in the rest.

Anyways, we were flying down the freeway in the middle of the night/early morning. We called my parents and sisters to tell them we were on our way to the hospital. Then, we called Zelda's parents to tell them we were on the way. Both of them told us that they'd be there in the morning because Zelda had several hours of labor to endure. When we got to the hospital, we were led to the elevators that took us up to the labor and delivery floor. The staff gave Zelda papers to fill out and told me that I had to wait in the waiting room. I told Zelda that I had to move the car to a parking garage because we left it at the front door of the hospital.

I went down, moved the car to the parking garage and walked back to the waiting room. Since it was the middle of the night, there was only one other guy in the waiting room. I walked in and he asked me if this was our first child. I said, "yes". He told me to go ahead and lie down and take a nap because I was going to be in the waiting room for a long time. So, I sat down, positioned the overnight bag at the edge of one of the couches to use as a pillow, sprawled my legs out and started to lie down. Before my head touched the cushion, I heard a faint, "Jeth! Jeth!" I thought that we had been assigned a room where Zelda could undergo labor for a few hours in private. I picked up the overnight bag and walked out of the waiting room.

I saw Zelda. She was pale. The nurses were rushing her to the O.R.

Me: "What's going on?"

Dr.: "She's dilated."

Me: "How much?"

Dr.: "Ten centimeters. We're ready now!"

Zelda: "I don't have time for an epidural."

Me: "It's okay, hon. You're going to do just fine." I was actually in full panic at the time. I just couldn't let Zelda know it.

Zelda screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed. Did I mentioned that she screamed? One of the biggest things that helped her during the whole ordeal was when I told her that I could see the baby's head. Then, she knew that all of the pushing was working.

A few minutes later and there was this new little person crying and screaming. They put her in my arms and I'll never forget that overwhelming feeling.

After everything settled down, I called my mom and told her that her granddaughter was born.

Mom: "Already?!"

Me: "yep."

Mom: "Is that her crying in the background?" My mom's voice was trembling. I knew she was crying.

Me: "yep."

I then called Zelda's parents. Her stepdad answered the phone.

Dad: (half asleep) "Hello?"

Me: "Hi Grandpa. say 'hello' to your granddaughter."

Dad: (wide awake) "Already?!"

Me: "yep."

After I handed Gwendolyn to Zelda and we had our little "family moment." I went outside to clear my head. I ran into the guy in the waiting room. He asked me how our room was. I told him they were still getting one ready. He asked me why I was being called previously. I told him that we had a baby girl.

Man in the waiting room: "Already?!"

Me: "yep."

MITWR: "That is so not fair. I've been here 8 hours and nothing. You come here and 15 minutes later and you're done?"

Me: "I guess so. Sorry man."

MITWR: "Holy Shit. Well, congratulations, man."

Me: "Thanks."

Happy Birthday Pumpkin. Today is your special day. Daddy loves you and always will.

On Break

I haven't really been blogging much lately because of my schedule, but for the next couple of weeks I won't be able to blog at all. I have Radiology rotations next week and then final exams the week after that. I'll see y'all when I return.