Saturday, February 26, 2005

Chick Flix

I'm lying here in bed on a Saturday morning with my laptop on top of me. Zelda is watching some movie that doesn't interest me in the slightest. She told me it's Sense and Sensibility. Never heard of it. It's boring me to death so I brought out my laptop to warm my jewels. That's at least a little more entertaining. I don't mean to insult Zelda's movie preferences. They're just what she likes. I don't force her to watch some of the things that I like to watch. The trip to rent movies can be quite entertaining.

Z: "I want to watch Garden State."

J: "What the fuck is that?"

Z: "It's about....nevermind, you wouldn't be interested."

J: "What about Aliens vs. Predator?"

Z: "That movie will NOT set foot in my house."

J: "Okay, what else?"

Z: "What about La Divorce? It's got Kate Hudson in it."

J: "Does she get naked?"

Z: "I don't think so."

J: "No."

Z: "Well, what do you suggest?"

J: "I don't care as long as it either has sex, explosions, comedy, or fighting."

Z: "What about Kill Bill?"

J: "OK, yeah."

Usually, we rent 3 movies. The first one is the one that we both agree on. The second is something she's been wanting to see, but knows it's something I wouldn't. The third is mine.

I have often been asked about my taste in movies. People, especially women, have asked me why guys can't sit through "chick flix". My reasoning is because movies provide an escape from day to day life. For me, I like to escape from the whole character A is in love with character B who happens to be engaged to Character C who is cheating on character B with character D....and so on and so on. I like to imagine off the wall scenarios. I like to escape from reality and enjoy such movies. Explosions? What can I say, I love fireworks. Action? I love unlikely situations where CIA agents, spies, whatever are carrying out special missions only to find themselves being betrayed. I like to give my brain some rest and just let it enjoy visual and auditory stimulation.

Sometimes, I'll sit and watch one of Zelda's movies with her just to be next to her. She'll do the same with me. We're separate people, but we'll tolerate 2 hours of torture just to be with each other.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Crotch Rocket

After visiting Seven's site, I started to have memories of my bike. Right after high school, I got this bike. That thing was so damn fast, it scared me. The only time I ever raced on that bike was when a brand new Corvette pulled up right next to me at a stop light revved his engine. I couldn't help it. I knew where I was, there was no stoplights for a few miles. Not only that, it was just straight road. I kicked it into first and held the clutch. The instant that light turned green, I popped the clutch and hit the gas. The front end rose up off the ground. By the time I had realized it, I had already pulled the clutch to switch gears. I hit 100 mph in about 5 or 6 seconds. Then, I realized, if I hit a rock or if an animal crosses the road, I'm dead. So, I let go of the gas, checked my mirrors and saw that I had totally left that brand new Corvette in the dust. At the next highway crossover, I turned just as that brand new Corvette shot past me.

I think that was the day I vowed never to race again. I had no idea just how fast these machines could run. That day, I found out. I know Zelda is terrified of it. I've always told her that if we ever win the lottery, I was going to get one. She's quite adamant about it. Still, I remember riding along the Galveston Seawall (along the beach) with my friends. It was incredible. I miss it.

I can understand Zelda's worries though. I've seen motorcycle accidents. They're not pretty. Still, I can't help but to daydream a little bit about riding along the beach again with Zelda behind me.

Anyways, this is my current fantasy.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Mike Tyson vs. Evander Holyfield

Do ya'll remember this fight? It was the one in which Mike Tyson bit Evander Holifield's ear. Back before Zelda and I dated, my roommates and I held a party at our apartment hosting this $60 pay per view event. What a rip-off! I didn't care if someone got knocked out in the first round, I wanted to see a clean fight with a clear winner.

Everyone was gathered around TV screaming, chanting, and basically going crazy. I feel sorry for the people living below us. We warned them though and even invited them to come up and join us. When it was over, a few people left. But, more people came. Alcohol was flowing like Niagra Falls that night. Needless to say, a few of our friends got extremely drunk. The first victim was Carlos. Now, everyone knows that when Carlos drinks, keep anything sharp away from him. He's once severed a nerve in his hand and lost the ability to contract certain fingers until he went through some rehab. Anyways, I let Carlos take my bed to sleep off his intoxication before he had to drive. Eventually, every single bed and couch was taken. I slept on the floor without a blanket for a few hours until I saw Carlos leaving. I was freezing my ass off because I gave every blanket we had to our guests. When Carlos left, I got up, walked into my room, and plopped down onto my nice, soft, warm mattress. I pulled up the blanket, rolled over, and stuck my hands under my pillow to keep them warm.

That's when I noticed my hands WERE warm....AND moist. I lifted up my pillow and saw a puddle of vomit. Carlos had puked UNDER my pillow. Yep, that woke me up for the rest of the morning. Have you ever had the feeling of a hangover coming on while you were awake? That, plus the trouble of having to clean off someone else's vomit from your sheets, mattress, and hands? It's not pleasant. But, they're your friends. You take care of them, they take care of you. Right?

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Prescription: Sexual Gratification

I can't believe I'm about to tell ya'll about this. Last week, a friend of mine (We'll call her Suzy) told me she was having some low back pain and if there was anything I could do to help. I asked her a few questions to get an idea as to the situation regarding this pain. The fact that there was no trauma worried me. I ran through some orthopedic tests to get a better idea as to what was going on. Nothing seemed to make sense. One test would say one thing. Another test would say the opposite. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I asked her to come in to the clinic for an x-ray and blood test because I was worried of a tumor or something else, particularly her kidneys. She told me that she had already seen a physician and all these tests were already done with nothing abnormal showing up. She asked me if there was anything else that her doctor may not have thought of. I was dumbfounded. I adjusted her and it gave her some relief, but not much. Then, it hit me.

I remember there was a lecture in OB/Gyn class regarding something that you might see in a female who complains of low back pain. Now, Suzy has been a good friend of mine. So, what I was about to say to her made me feel quite uneasy. But, I got up my nerve and continued:

J: "How's your sex life?"

S: "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

J: "There's something called pelvic congestion. It sometimes happens when females are not sexually gratified. I'm not saying that that's what you have. But, seeing as how nothing seems to make sense, I've got to ask you."

S: "You're lying."

J: "Suzy, I can't make this stuff up. It was a lecture in OB/Gyn class once. I'm not sure how true it is, but it's worth looking into right?"

S: "Maybe."

J: "Look, if your doctor said the imaging and blood tests were normal, and the ortho tests that I did aren't giving me a clear picture towards anything, you might want to look further into it."

S: "What do you suggest?"

J: "I can't believe I'm actually going to say this, but since you're a friend of mine, I'll tell you. Go and have an orgasm. Let me know if it works."

S: "I'm feeling a little uncomfortable."

J: "Hey, I don't blame you one bit. If I was in the clinic being observed by my attending, I would never have told you about this. Look, I'm going to be a doctor one day, and it's something I guess I have to get used to. So, I'm sorry."

S: "It's okay I guess. You're just trying to help. Right?"

J: "Yeah. Believe me, it's a little uncomfortable for me too."

A few days later, I got a call from Suzy.

S: "Hey Jethro! I just wanted to let you know my back feels better."

J: "Really? Good. So, are you seeing someone now?"

S: "No. Let's just leave it at that. Thanks for your advice."

J: "No problem."

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Why Was I A Little Bothered?

Warning: Gory details

I had a lecture today in Emergency Procedures in which a lot of pictures were shown of actual trauma. Now, in Gross Anatomy, we did many things that would probably make most people really uncomfortable like cutting into the skull to remove the brain. Or, sawing straight down the middle of the cadaver's face to expose the various cranial cavities. We've even had to saw and cut straight through genitalia. When you dissect, you really have to tear apart the body. So, why was I a little uneasy over these images? It wasn't much, but considering what I've already done in Gross Anatomy, the images should not have had any effect on me.

I think I boiled it down to the fact that I could imagine the pain that these people were in. The cadavers were already dead. However, some of the images involved people who were still alive. I saw images like a mangled hand, a severed body parts, lacerations, one guy with his eyeball hanging out, etc. I was able to keep my eye on the board and take notes, but there was a slight feeling of uneasiness. I guess I could imagine a little bit of their pain. Looks like I haven't been completely desensitized yet.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

The Exorcist

When I was about 5, I saw "The Exorcist." That movie messed me up for years. My parents never stopped me from watching horror or violent movies. What they were very strict about was sex. Nudity and sexual situations were a no no . However, violence and horror was no big deal. In all honesty, I have to agree with them. Chances of me committing some violent act from watching a movie is slim. Chances of me going on a shooting rampage from playing video games is also slim. I can't stand it when people blame acts of violence on things such as movies and video games. However, sex is a different case. We are all bound by hormones. We're all going to want to do it. For that reason, I can understand why my parents rules.

As far as violence and horror movies go, I guess my parents saw enough bad things during the war. The reality of what they lived through far overshadows what Hollywood could throw at people. Still, that doesn't stop the fact that "The Exorcist" messed me up.

Do ya'll remember a few years ago when they re-released the movie with extra scenes? I remember one of my co-workers, Steve, saying, "Let's all go see it!" I remembered a buddy of mine, Frank, and I both said, "HELL NO!" Of course the conversation continued,

S: "What's the matter, you chicken?"

J: "Let me put it this way, that movie fucked me up when I was little. Frank, how old are you?"

F: "27"

J: "Right. So you saw it about the same time I did...around 5 years old?"

F: "Yep."

J: "Steve, you go and have fun watching it by yourself."

S: "Man, I can't believe you both won't go see it."

I'm not sure why I won't see that movie anymore. I don't really care for scary movies, but they don't bother me anymore. I guess it's just the memory of the whole situation. Hell, I refuse to purchase any kind of a toy Godzilla. You can read about that story here. The memory can be a powerful tool.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Reverse Discrimination

Back in high school, I played basketball for the school. I was the starting small forward. I was the only Asian kid in the entire district. But, I wasn't half bad. I used to use other's people's misconceptions get the best of them. I remember I got the ball right behind the 3-point line. The guys in front of me smiled and taunted me saying, "Shoot it! Go ahead and shoot it!" Even my coach was screaming at me, "Shoot it!" So, I looked right at the bucket, bent my knees, and faked the hell out of the 2 guys right in front of me. The flew right by me trying to block what they thought was a shot. I drove right between them and made an easy layup for 2 points. My coach who was screaming at me at first said, "Good move! Good move!"

One day, after watching "White Men Can't Jump" I decided to give it a try. I got dressed up in my dorkiest pair of shorts and t-shirt and went to the local basketball court for a little fun. Needless to say, while picking teams, I was chosen last. When the game started, no one could believe that they were getting beaten by such a dorky looking kid. All of the other guys there were wearing their Air Jordans, and expensive Jerseys. My team never lost. It was funny to watch people judge me based on how I looked and dressed.

I miss those days. I'm so out of shape now, I couldn't last 2 minutes on the court. I need some motivation. I think I'll teach the game to my girls. That'll be fun.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Happy New Year everyone! It's that time of year. The time where almost every person of Asian origins celebrate. I remember my first Tet celebration with my family in downtown Houston. Firecrackers were set off at every corner, dragons danced for hours on end, and people handed out those precious little red envelopes filled with money. If you've never experienced such a celebration, I would encourage you all to see it one day. This new year is the year of the cock. I'll let all of you get your jokes in on that one.

I hope everyone who is well right now is eating lots of apples and oranges. Take your vitamins, drink lots of water, get a little exercise, wash your hands, clean your mess. Take care of yourselves because there is a really nasty bug going around. I've had it since Friday and I'm still not 100% yet. Zelda's going through the worst phase of it right now. She's even completely lost her voice. Actually, the peace and quiet is rather nice! Just kidding. Alright everyone, time to get some rest.

Monday, February 07, 2005

Superbowl Sunday

Superbowl Sunday is America's biggest sports event. Every year, we try to enjoy it with friends and family. We always have a big BBQ with lots of beer or whatever else you can find to drink. The game itself is always fun to watch especially when you know who in the room has actually made a huge financial wager on the game. You can always see them lose their cool, regain it, then lose it again.

People often talk about the commericals during the Superbowl. Every year, I do the same. This year, my vote for the best commercial goes to the Anheuser Busch and "Applause". Check it out: (You'll have to select your bandwidth)

This commercial reminded me of last year's Superbowl in Houston. Of course we couldn't get tickets to the game. So, Zelda and I met up with friends to our old college watering hole called Griff's. At the beginning of the game, the national anthem was sung. On the huge projection screen, you could see Beyonce Knowles singing while various scenery around the stadium being shown. Then, you could see a set of Apache helicopters hovering over the stadium. That's when you could hear it. Everyone got so loud. We were cheering and applauding the mere sight of our military. I think it surprised a lot of people especially those from the North. I spoke to a few people from the New England area and I don't think they quite realized just how much pride Texans take in our country, military, and way of life.

To our men and women in uniform, be careful and stay safe. Your home is waiting for your safe return. However, we understand that you have a job to complete. When you do come home, hold your head high. Your work is strongly appreciated. Don't listen to our media. They do not voice our true feelings. They have lost touch with mainstream America who are extremely proud of you.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

It's MINE!

I was having a lot of trouble the other day looking for a Valentine's Day gift for Zelda. She's always told me that she wanted an entire lingerie set with a garter belt. For awhile now, I've been blowing it off hoping to catch her by surprise. I've been checking out places here and there and even on the internet and can't seem to find something that I'd like to see on her. Then it hit me, I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know how to shop for these things. I know what I like when I see it, but otherwise, I'm lost.

So, I broke down.

"Babe?! I have a problem."


Thinking, what the hell am I doing? This is supposed to be a surprise!

"Oh, uhhhh...nevermind."


"Nothing babe, it's nothing bad. Don't worry about it."

"You can't just walk in, tell me you've got a problem and then just say 'never mind'!"

"Really, it's not a big deal hon."

This goes on for about half an hour. Then, I know, I'll just tell her what I'm going to get her then we can shop for it together and maybe she could model it for me as well. (Drool).

So, I told her that I wanted to get her a full lingerie set for Valentines day. But, I was having trouble finding something. She asked me where I have looked. I listed a few places in the mall. Then, I grabbed MY laptop (she uses the desktop) to show her the places on the internet that I've been to. By the way, did I mention that it was virtually impossible to find her bra size? That plus, if you buy a bra that big, they expect it to go onto a fat girl. Zelda's not fat so the sets are going to have to be a mix and match. The first place I went to on the internet had her bra size. But, I didn't like the way it looked. I showed her that I actually visited these places looking for her present.

Then, I felt it. It was quick. I mean Kung Fu master quick! A hand on my shoulder that pushed me away from MY laptop, off the bed, and onto the floor. Her eyes were glued to the screen and her fingers were typing over 200 words a minute. She even worked the mousepad so fast, that her hands were blurry to the naked eye. Did I mention that I have perfect vision? Anyways, we spent hours looking up the perfect set. So far, I found one potential garter belt. Now, all I need is the rest of it. I'm getting excited just thinking about how she's going to look in it. (More drool.)