A little break

I'll be gone for a few weeks. I have the 3 worst weeks coming up. I'll try and visit each of your sites, but as of right now, I'm going to be up shit-creek for 3 weeks. I'm going to have numerous case studies to interpret as well as entrance exams. This will determine whether I am competent enough to actually start diagnosing and treating patients with complex problems. After that, I've got lab exams and final exams. Okay, gotta go study. See ya'll real soon. Ciao!

Angi - I promised I was going to explain my healthcare care position. I will, just give me until my break.

The Parade

Earlier this year, Zelda and I were asked to have our kids participate in an Asian pride parade. My sister was married not too long ago. In the wedding, she had our girls dressed in the traditional Vietnamese wedding outfit. We took those outfits and put the girls in them for the parade. It was a beautiful day in Houston. When I got there, the people told me that I needed a traditional outfit to walk in the parade. Ooops, I don't have one. One guy who was working one of the dragons took his shirt off and told me to wear it so that I could walk with the girls. Funny thing, I'm taller than most Vietnamese guys. The shirt was a little small to say the least. Anyways, we walked down several blocks on downtown Houston and had a great time. Here's a picture:

The Greatest Trilogy Ever

First of all Happy Thanksgiving everyone! This morning has been absolutely fabulous. I have so many projects and so many things to worry about, but today, I'm not worrying about it. Life's too short to spend stressed out each and everyday.

I was awoken this morning by a horny Zelda. We all know that men have a natural capacity for being quite "at attention" in the morning. Actually, if a man doesn't have morning erection for a few days, please go see a doctor. It might be something not so serious, but it could also be something extremely serious. So, don't take the chance. Anyways, this morning Zelda brushed up against me to see that I was at "full staff". What can you say? If you've got it, use it! So, that was a nice way to start off the morning.

Since I've been flooded with all kinds of work at school, I decided that I wasn't going to do shit today, except watch movies and possibly fish at my in-law's pond. I popped in Lord of the Rings into the DVD player. We bought the extended versions. I have to say that this trilogy has to be the best I've ever seen. I had a lot of fun watching the shortened versions in the theaters with Zelda. We went on the first day each of them were released. All of the die hard Lord of the Rings fans went on the first day. It was quite fun to watch not only the movie itself, but to also watch the crowd's reaction.

Warning: If you haven't seen Return of the King and you don't want to know the end, stop reading now:

In the last one, Return of the King, I can remember the end when each of the characters walked into the room to see Frodo. You saw Merry and Peregrin. Then, Gimli the dwarf came in. The, Legolas the elf. At this point, all of the girls in the theater screamed like school girls. Then, Aragorn...again, another scream, but not as loudly. Then, Sam the other Hobbit came in. Here, all the guys cheered in a way to mock the girls sitting next to them. It was great! When Aragorn was being crowned and looked right into Legolas's eyes, one guy screamed "Oh yeeeth!" with as severe a lisp as could be. The whole audience cracked up. Again, it was great!

I don't know when the extended version of Return of the King comes out, but you can bet that I'll be the first in line to buy it.

Alright, back to my movie and fishing later.

Jethro in Europe

In my junior year in college, I participated in a study abroad program. I stayed at Reading (pronounced Redding) University outside of London. Over the July 4th weekend, I decided to ditch classes and celebrate. Hell, I may be in Europe, but I'm American first. I had relatives in Paris so I caught a flight to see what it had to offer. At the time, I was dating Zelda's former best friend, Micky. She and another friend of ours, named Marlene, also came. I should've just left them. You see, Micky and I were growing apart. She was interested in someone else and I was interested in Zelda. The only reason we stayed together was because we had numerous mutual friends. Poor reason to stay together.

I only stayed in Paris for 4 days. While I was there, I decided to buy my mom a gift. I knew she like Chanel No. 5 perfume. So, I asked my relatives where I could find some for cheap. They gave me directions and instructions to ask for Bobo once I got there. When I did get there, I did as I was told. I asked for Bobo. The lady at the counter pointed to the stairwell at the back of the store. As I approached the stairwell, 2 Asian guys in black suits and dark sunglasses blocked the path behind me as I walked by. The guys said in Vietnamese, "Him only." WTF? Micky and Marlene just told me to go ahead. They would continue shopping downstairs. I continued upstairs and approached a lady who wore way too much makeup. She was wearing bright red lipstick, blue eye shadow, and layers of blush. She looked like an Asian Tammy Faye Baker. I asked her for Chanel No. 5 perfume. She quoted me the equivalent of $40 in francs. If I had known that Chanel No. 5 perfume (not Eau de toilette) was $300 normally, I would've bought more and sold the extras back here. I didn't know why I was able to get it so cheap. As it turns out, the store was owned by the Vietnamese mafia. That's why only I was allowed upstairs.

I only spent 4 days in Paris because my studies kept me mostly in England. On my last night in the dorms of Reading University in England, I passed by my neighbor who was a cutie that had been flirting with me for several weeks. I told her that it was my last night and that I wanted to say good bye. She said that we had to celebrate. She took out a bottle of wine and 2 glasses. After the bottle was finished, she asked me if I wanted to go back to her room and really celebrate. Yes! As I grabbed her hand, Lisa walked by. Lisa was a friend of mine. She also knows Zelda, Micky, and Marlene. Lisa wanted to talk and wouldn't leave. She kept talking about how she got to go to Ireland and how much fun she had there. All I could do was stand there horny as hell waiting for Lisa to leave. When it came down to 2 hours before we actually left, I gave up. I should've just told Lisa that I was going to sleep and then gone up to Micky, and told her that I was breaking up with her so I could spend my last night with the English cutie and no regrets.

Here's to missed opportunities.

The Whorehouse

As some of you may have recalled, Zelda blogged about how I was dragged into a whorehouse by one of my friends a few years ago. I told her nothing happened and that I really didn't want to be there. Some of you responded to her telling her that you were all pretty sure nothing happened that day, despite the fact that you didn't know me at all. For that, I appreciate your comforting her. Let me tell you the story of what happened that day from my point of view.

I don't remember how the day started, but I remember it was Chris who was driving the car. He drove into a shady area of downtown Houston. I asked him where we were going. He told me it was a surprise. He pulled into the parking lot of a "Modeling Studio".

J: "Is This a Whorehouse?"

C: "Yep."

J: "I'm not going in there."

C: "Why not?"

J: "Because I don't want to."

C: "You don't have to do anything, just wait for me inside."

J: "You go ahead, I'll wait inside the car."

C: "You don't want to do that. This is not an area you want to be alone in."

J: "Shit"

So, I went inside to wait. When we approached the front door, Chris rang the doorbell. The door, enforced by burglar bars, swung open, and I swear the biggest black man I ever saw stood right before us. This guy was easily 7 foot tall and about 350 pounds. The guy was huge! He had the most menacing look on his face when he looked at me, but then he saw Chris and smiled.

"What's up Chris?"

"What's up big guy. Haven't seen you in awhile."

"Yeah, buddy! Good to see you again."

So, Chris was a regular there I thought. Still, that didn't stop him from frisking us both for weapons. Afterwards, he said, "Come on in gentlemen."

I walked into a hallway that lead directly to the "living room". The air felt so nasty that I didn't even want to breathe. It was quite humid and no air conditioning. Just a bunch of rotating fans running in the middle of the Houston heat. There were old, red velvet couches all around the room for people to sit. It was dimly lit with Christmas lights that surrounded the ceiling. In the center of the room was an old oak rectangular table with several ashtrays on it. On the south wall, there was a dark stairway.

Then, a fairly attractive woman in her 30's, I'm guessing she was the Madame, came over and asked us if there was anything we wanted. Chris got a beer. I got some hot tea. She asked if we were both going to "go upstairs." Chris looked at me and said, "I will, but he won't". The lady then said that I was such a good looking guy and that she really liked my eyes. Chris then said, "He's married." Yes, I proudly wear my wedding band to let all women and especially men that I'm taken. Sadly, Chris is married too. He just took his wedding band off. We weren't the only ones in the living room. I saw another guy on another couch just sitting there. After several minutes, his friend came down from upstairs happily singing and said, "Ready to go!" Then, they left.

That's when they came down. Prostitute after prostitute came down. They were all very attractive and dressed in very sexy lingerie. Chris picked the only white girl there, and she took him upstairs. I guess Chris felt as if he had something to prove to me since I was the only Asian guy he knew that was married to a white girl. Poor bastard.

Another Asian client came in and asked for a Korean girl. The Madame pulled out an Asian girl and said that she was Korean. The client just sat back and smoked his cigarette. The girl then asked in Vietnamese if she could have a cigarette too. The guy looked at her and said, "I thought you were Korean!" Eventually, he took her upstairs anyways. Yeah, I didn't think it mattered either. I just continued to sit on the couch, drinking my hot tea.

Chris finally came down from upstairs and we left. He couldn't drive, so I drove. I asked him,

"Hey man, why do you do it?"

"Because I can"

"Yeah, but you're married too"

"I know, but Janet (his wife) doesn't do everything that I like. Not only that, but she doesn't give it as much as I want it. So, you gotta do what you gotta do. Look man, I love her okay? What I do here has nothing to do with love. I don't love any of these girls. They just give me what I want when I want and all it costs me is $125. No expensive dinners, no emotions, no bullshit."

"If you say so, dude."

So, that was the story from what happened from my point of view. The entire time I was there, I kept thinking to myself, "Holy Shit! Any moment now the police are gonna come in here and arrest everyone. How am I gonna explain this one to my wife?"
So, I actually have a question to Trashman and Jack. If there had been a raid, would I have been arrested even though I was only drinking tea in the living room waiting for Chris? I know they would have had nothing to book me on, but I was curious to know if they even had a legal chance to even try.

Distraction

Sorry for being lazy about blogging everyone. I had several tests this week in my 4 most difficult classes. Yeah, I know. I suck at priorities. Anyways, onto my story.

Not much can distract me from sex. Zelda has a way of catching my attention from whatever I'm doing to fulfilling my "marital duties." I could be in the middle of doing something quite important like studying for an exam the next day, and all she would have to do is come into the room, lock the door, and get naked. Actually, all she has to do is come into the room.

Today, I had 2 tests. One in Orthopedics and the other in Clinical Lab Diagnosis. I studied all night and still have not slept. I had worse conditions. A few months ago, I had 4 tests in one day. However, despite those conditions, when Zelda came into the room, I would throw my books and notes on the floor and do the deed. After my post-coital coma, I would get up and continue studying.

Last night Zelda came into the room and flashed me a very seductive look. For some reason, I just wasn't in the mood. WHAT!?! I'm never NOT in the mood! I thought maybe it was because we got some earlier in the day. But, then I realized. No, that session only wetted our appetites. Maybe the 30's have actually gotten to me. I felt so depressed. Then, I realized. It was none of that. I looked at my Clinical Lab Diagnosis notes and realized that I was reading details on fecal studies. That's right! I was reading about color, shapes, pH, and odor of real SHIT! Needless to say, once the notes were put away, NO PROBLEM. I may be a pervert, but even I have my limits.

My very first fishing trip

When I was about 3 or 4 years old, my father took the family to a dam in Texarkana. It was a local fishing hole and picnic area. We went with his friends and their families as well. This was the day I was to get my first fishing experience. When we first came to this country, fishing was how we kept food on the table every night. That was my dad's ritual. He would work long hours during the day and fish right after work until he caught something for dinner. So, for my dad, it was like he was passing down survival knowledge to his son.

I'll never forget it. He set up the rod and reel, attached a hook, baited it, and launched it right into the water. Then, he handed it to me. I was so excited. I really didn't know what to do. I just remember I was so excited to be doing something that my father was doing. I remember sitting close to the edge of the water, just waiting for something to happen. What that something was supposed to be, I wasn't sure. I just knew we, the boys...the men, were going to bring home some fish. Then it happened, something caused the fishing pole to shake just a little. The shake turned into a snapping jerk. It got a little stronger. Eventually, the line started to move in the water. Unfortunately, my dad wasn't paying attention so he missed watching the pole move. This went on for about 5 minutes. All of a sudden, it stopped. About 15 minutes passed by after the rod stopped moving. My father told me that he needed to check the bait. When he reeled it in, the bait was gone. My father asked me if I felt any fish tugging at the end of the line. I told him I felt something pull the pole. He then asked me why I didn't reel it in. My answer? "You didn't tell me to." Realizing that I had no idea what I was doing at the time, my father laughed a little bit. Eventually, my father showed me how to fish. Since then, I've grown to love fishing. Thanks dad for teaching me.

Why Chiropractic?

Fleece asked me a question that I actually have been asked quite a bit. She asked, "...why I should go visit a chiropractor? I've heard that you can never go back to NOT seeing one after a few initial sessions."

Let me just state that this is a very common perception of the way chiropractors are perceived. It's not always true

Chiropractic is a conservative (Nothing to do with politics) method of medical care. We are educated to become experts of the skeletal, muscular, and nervous systems. Our main focus is on biomechanics and optimization of joint motion as well as maintaining health. We believe that we should consider less invasive procedures first before actually cutting into the human body or providing drugs. Don't get me wrong, I do believe that surgery and medications are necessary. I just believe we should try other methods first. That being said, why do people believe that you can never NOT go back? For some people it's true. These people choose not to have surgery and get functioning back as long as they continue to see their chiropractor. For others, whenever a joint becomes misaligned, it may produce symptoms that only require only one visit to correct. Any true doctor will tell you that everything depends on you. You may need many visits or only one visit your whole lifetime.

We are just like any other doctor. We can order tests (blood, x-ray, CT, MRI, etc.), interpret, and diagnose using radiographic films, physical exams, orthopedic exams, and lab studies. One more thing I do notice is that people, doctors included, are beginning to see the importance of nutritional supplementation to various activities including the drugs they're taking. For example, let's just use antibiotics. People who are constantly on antibiotics may destroy their normal flora (normal bacteria that reside within you). It is the normal flora that gives us up to 50% of our required vitamin K. If you are deficient in vitamin K, your blood doesn't clot as easily. So, you may find that you bruise easily. So, for those who take lots of antibiotics, it may be a good idea to supplement with vitamin K. However, there are toxic effects if you supplement too much. So, you must be careful with that as well.

So to answer your question, Fleece, you are going to a chiropractor because he or she is a specialist in biomechanics (very good for sports) and maintenance of health. People go because they want to try a less invasive method first before going under the knife. They also go because our nutritional education teaches us how various medications affect the body and how we can advise patients to assist some of the additional effects. Of course all this should be in direct communication with your traditional allopathic doctor. You see, I believe that chiropractors should work together with traditional allopaths. We have specialities that they don't. Likewise, they have specialties that we don't.

Entering the 30's

Well just 3 more days until I leave my wife. Just kidding. I'll actually be leaving my 20's. As I reflect back on the previous decade, I remember a decade full of parties, anxiety, new beginnings, and finally excitement for what is to become of the future.

The happiest moments of the last decade was my wedding (Now that was a party! Over 300 people, 9 course meals at every table, live band, enough Remy VSOP cognac to last the whole night!). In addition to that night, was the birth of my daughters (Holding them for the first time made me realize that I was no longer living my life for myself). The partying never stopped. I just learned to enjoy it more.

Some of the moments that gave me the most anxiety also involved the birth of my daughters. I felt sympathy for Zelda. I really did. She was vomitting for 9 straight months. Any scents in the air would send her into a vomitting fit. She also lost her mind a bit. She cried and screamed at me when I came home from work and cooked something for myself because I was hungry from not eating ALL DAY. She asked if I was trying to kill her by cooking pork chops. Crazy no? Imagine 9 months of shit like that. But, I'm a man. I don't walk away from any challenge that life throws at me. And, in the end, I got my family, my own house, and my future.

So, good bye 20's. I've learned quite a bit. Good moments, bad moments...At least I got the memories. I look forward to watching my girls grow up. I look forward to many more challenges to having sex with my wife without the kids actually discovering us. I look forward to graduating Chiropractic school, practicing, and helping people. I look forward to the challenges that life is going to throw at me. And finally, I look forward to leaving a legacy that my kids can be proud of.

Holy shit! I sound like an old man already!

OB/Gyn Class

Jenny reminded me of a story. One of our required classes is OB/Gyn. I remember one day, the professor, Dr. Boats, started the lecture by reminding us that we are all professionals and that we needed to take things seriously. He then proceeded to put up a detailed diagram of the female anatomy (spread eagle) on the projection screen. No big deal. We just got busy taking notes. He was pointing out various structures when a prospective student and his parents, who were touring the school, walked into the room to sample a class lecture. Let's just say no one fell asleep. The mother's eyes widened, turned 3 shades of red, and held her hand over her mouth. The father and the son tried desperately to look intellectual. I guess it's just not something you see everyday especially in a room full of people.

Dr. Boats acknowledged their presence, but made the mistake of trying to explain why there was a huge vagina on the projection screen. As I looked around the room, I could see my fellow classmates struggling to hide their laughter. The guy ended up enrolling and I see him around campus all the time.

What's the moral of the story? There's nothing like a giant pussy to stimulate the mind.

Mneumonics

In school, there are many tricks that you can use to help you remember various medical facts. Some of them are quite perverted yet funny. Here are a few:

The 12 cranial nerves are: Olfactory, Optic, Occulomotor, Trochlear, Trigeminal, Abducens, Facial, Auditory, Glossopharyngeal, Vagus, Spinal Accessory, and Hypoglossal.
What do we future doctors come up with? O O O To Touch And Feel A Girls Vagina and Hymen.

White Blood Cell Differentials:
60, 30, 8, 2, 0
Never Let My Engine Blow
Boy Vern, My Pussy's Tight
explanation:
60% - Neutrophils - Bacteria
30% - Lymphocytes - Virus
8% - Monocytes - Macrophage
2% - Eosinophils - Parasites
0% - Basophils - Toxemia

Erection is controlled by the Parasympathetic nervous system. However, ejaculation is controlled by the Sympathetic nervous system.
How can you remember this: Point and Shoot

Trichomonas Vaginalis is a sexually transmitted disease that produces green colored discharge in women. This is what we use to remember: Girls turn tricks to get the green.

These are just a few off the top of my head. Do any of you have memorable Mneumonics that you've used to remember things?

Touche

I used to work in an optical. I was both an optician and a lab technician. I learned quite a bit about lenses, frames, contact lenses. One of the perks of working in a place like that was the benefits. I got some of the nicest frames, lenses, and sunglasses at cost plus an employee discount. One of my favorite pair of sunglasses that I still have today are a pair of Giorgio Armani's. They retailed at around $200. For me, I was offered them at a price of $60. I know it's still alot to pay for a pair of sunglasses, but when you've actually been taught optics, you really take notice of better optics that some of the more expensive things possess. Not all more expensive products were of better quality though. So, you really had to know your stuff.

I was out with Zelda last night and I was looking at her glasses. The pair that I got for her. The frames alone retailed for $400. The lenses were another $300. The coatings on those lenses were another $90. Of course, I paid no where near that total. I think I ended paying only about $150 for the whole thing. I looked at her and I told her:

J: "You know, you are a lucky woman. You know how much those glasses would've cost you normally?"
Z: "Yeah, I know babe. The other day, I was looking at my boobs and I thought, you're a lucky guy. You know how much these would've cost you normally?"
J: "Touche babe...touche."

My violent dreams

My last post was about dreams that I sometimes get. They're frequently very violent. I'm not sure where they come from. I'm generally not a violent person. I can remember with great detail some of the dreams that I have had.

In one dream, my family was being held hostage. I was in a tree when the perpetrators were walking past me. I waited until the last one walked by. Then, I jumped out of the tree with a combat knife in my hand going straight for the guy's skull. I whistled just in time for him to look up. I remember the knife going straight through the sockets of his eyes. I then grabbed his gun and fired on all of his buddies, killing all of them. I walked up to one guy who was still barely breathing asking me to kill him because he couldn't stand the pain. I told him to tell me where my family was. After he told me, I looked up at the sky and told him that the birds were going to eat him. Then I walked away.

In another dream, I remember I was walking and talking with one of my friends. Out of nowhere this guy throws a knife at me. I dodge it just in time. But, it caught my friend right in the head. I remember watching her lie on the ground. She was bleeding and shaking from convulsions. I pulled the knife out and what do I do? I don't ask her if she's okay. I run at this guy and knock him over. I put a lock on him with my legs so that he couldn't retaliate. Then, I took the knife and slowly drove it into his head. I can remember the feeling of his skull cracking as the knife broke the bone and penetrated his brain. Then, I twisted the knife just to make sure that I scrambled his brain.

In yet another dream, I was fighting with this other guy when he pulled a knife on me. This guy had attacked my little girl, Gwendolyn. I ran right at him, grabbed the fucking knife at the blade even though I knew it would hurt like hell and shoved the web of my other hand right at his throat. He went down. I pulled the knife out of my hand cut off both of his legs, arms, then finally genitals and stuck them in his mouth.

I don't know why I get these dreams. I've never been involved in any kind of a physical fight in my life except once. All of my violent dreams are retaliatory. It's always a case of revenge. Does anyone know what that means?

Sleepcapades

Okay, Zelda posted a few stories about some of the things I've done in my sleep. Here are a few more stories that I've been told:

1. Back in my first year of college, my roommate was studying while I was sleeping. He said I sat up and stared right at him. He said, "What's up Jethro?" Then he said I looked around the room, and went back to sleep.

2. My second year in college, with a different roommate, I was sleeping with my girlfriend next to me in bed. We had just come back from a party and crashed. My roommate, Devin, comes into the room holding his girlfriend up because she was drunk. He undressed her to put her pajamas on. Then he turned over and saw that I was staring with a small smile on my face. He signaled with his hands for me to stop looking at his girlfriend because he was changing her and continued to put her pajamas on. He climbed into bed and leaned over to turn off the lamp. Our beds were parallel to each other. He said that I was still staring again with that same small smile on my face. Again he waved at me to tell me to stop looking. Then he realized....I was sleeping with my eyes wide open.

3. Zelda woke up one night because the bed was shaking. She looked up to see that my hand was in the air shaking violently with small and rapid movements. She panicked because
she thought I was having a seizure. She knows better than to wake me up if I'm physically moving from a dream. However, because seizures can be life threatening, when she woke me up, she was practically crying. She was so scared. What was my answer?
"I'm sorry babe. I was dreaming that I was playing the playstation." She had bought me a playstation 2 for father's day.

These are just a few off the top of my head. If I remember more, I'll post those. The reason I said that Zelda knows better than to wake me up from dreaming is because I tend to have violent dreams. I'll have to blog about that next time. Be warned for the next time...some of those dreams are quite disturbing and quite detailed.